Until We Dance Again

On Sunday August 24, 2025, I received a text that would break me. A text from Royce’s wife, Chelsea telling me that my best friend was gone. That he passed away suddenly and unexpectedly the day before. Lee was in Las Vegas for work, and I sat on the sofa numb wishing and hoping the text wasn’t real. I sat there thinking about us, our friendship and how God placed you in my life when I needed you the most.

I want to share a quote from my book. “Royce was another dancer. He was a new student as well, so he knew as much or as little as I did. Since we were both beginners, we danced together a lot because we were at the same level. I got to know him, and I felt he wanted to get to know me. I felt I had a friend again. Years later, he told me that when he first saw me, he felt I needed a friend, and he felt sorry for me because he thought I had cancer. In his defense, I did have a shaved head and met him when the studio was doing a fundraiser for cancer. He went on to tell me that he was happy he talked to me that day. His friendship, his willingness to break down the wall I had built around myself, helped save my life.”

When I met Royce, I was depressed and suicidal and longed for connection. Royce had no idea how badly I needed a friend, yet he still reached out and by doing so helped me feel again, helped me learn to live again. He played a crucial role in why I am here today. His friendship saved my life.

For over a decade our friendship grew, he was one of my best friends. We ate Sushi together, he was the only person I knew who liked Sushi, we had birthday dinners at J. Liu, I wrapped his Christmas presents, and most importantly danced together where we laughed and truly got to know each other.

I remember calling and asking him to be at my wedding, to stand beside me as I say I do to the love of my life. Years later, he called me to tell me about Chelsea, this girl he liked. He was excitedly nervous wondering if she liked him too. I remember being so happy when I found out she said yes! How amazing it was to stand beside the both of them on their wedding day. I stood there watching my best friend on the happiest day of his life marry the love of his life.

My last memory is texting Royce, thanking him for being my friend and all the memories we shared. I will miss you, my friend. I will think of you when I dance, when I see yellow, when I watch Pawn Stars, and when I see a butterfly.

I am thankful for the people you have brough into my life. Chelsea, your mom, sister, and your childhood friends. I am thankful for the time we had even though it was cut short.

I have been around death my whole life, but Royce was the first person I knew who died unexpectedly. I have always looked at death as if they aren’t suffering anymore. No longer have cancer, dementia. Or I can say they lived a long, good life because they died in their 90s. Everyone I have known who has died falls under those categories. Royce didn’t. He was young, just married and wasn’t sick. Yes, he had a good life, but his life was also just beginning with Chelsea. His death hit me hard, I struggled to understand, but then my sister shared with me something someone had shared with her, “that if I knew how this was part of God’s plan or why something like this would happen, that would make me God…..which I am not.  All I have is faith that nothing happens without purpose. God always has a purpose.” That was the beginning of me feeling at peace. Then I heard the verse of the day on the radio that said, “It is not our job to understand God, but to trust God.” This only solidified what Theresa had told me.

Today I said goodbye. Royce, you took a piece of my heart to heaven with you, but I felt your presence today. You were there. I felt peace. Yesterday my sister texted me a picture of a butterfly she released. She named it Royce. Prior to heading to the funeral, Lee and I stopped by a Liquor Store, I saw a bottle with a butterfly on it from a distillery I had never heard of, I bought it because it made me thing of you. As I walked to the church, I smiled as I watched a butterfly flutter around the flowers at the entrance of the church. I know it was you. At the cemetery, a butterfly landed on the awning and stayed there while the priest was talking and flew away when he was finished. You were there. You will always be around, not just for me but for Chelsea and all the people you love.

I know one day we will dance together on Heaven’s floor.