Signs from God

In life, when something bad happens, we often ask “Why me” or “God how did you let this happen.” If God is so good, why did I get cancer? Thankfully because of the way I was raised and the faith I had before I got sick, I never asked any of those questions. I understood from the beginning that God didn’t give me cancer.

Cancer, disease, and violence are not of God. They are the evil in the world. I’ll never know for certain what caused my cancer, but I do know God didn’t cause it. What He did do was send me his angels to help me get through it. Sometimes angels are everyday people like nurses who do what they can to comfort someone. An angel can be anyone who spreads hope, kindness and makes someone’s day better. These are earth angels.

God sent his angels decades before I got sick, they were the ones who developed the chemo so I could live. They were the ones who created Zofran, the anti-nausea medication that gave me a quality of life during treatment. When my dad got a job transfer to a location closer to home, no one thought anything of it, but that was part of God’s plan.

Working 5 minutes from home allowed him to rush home the day I couldn’t stand and got me to the ER where we would discover how sick I really was. It allowed my mom the ability to take me to the hospital three days a week because he could walk to work.

God sent signs to me and those around me that I was sick. Two months prior to my diagnosis, my back pain started, and it slowly progressed to the point where I couldn’t do anything without pain. It eventually got so severe, I couldn’t stand. He was trying to let us know something was wrong, something inside me glitched and leukemia cells were spreading throughout my body.

It was up to us to see the signs. Sadly, we often either ignore the signs or simply don’t see or understand them. Thankfully, the last sign God sent of me not being able to stand, my dad understood loud and clear.

A few days after my diagnosis, I had a Broviac catheter placed. A central line that would make it easier to get chemo. At the time, only God knew there was a huge problem. My central line had been placed in an artery, not a vein. Risks of a blood clot, stroke, or death were possibilities because of this. God didn’t cause my medical mistake. My surgeon was human, and humans make mistakes, it was human error that caused my central line to be placed in an artery. God knew it was there and from the moment it happened and there were signs it was in the wrong spot.

The first sign was that after surgery I wouldn’t stop bleeding. The second sign occurred every time I got an IV. The left side of my body from my shoulders to my toes would go numb and I felt that tingling sensation for the duration of the infusion. When we didn’t see and/or understand the first two signs, I developed a fever which caused me to be admitted to the hospital. My third and final sign was a pulsing in the IV line. When we did not understand the signs He sent me Linda, the one nurse who was wise enough and seasoned enough to understand what those three signs meant. They meant I was in trouble. Thanks to God and Linda, I didn’t have any major complications due to the medical mistake.

I never saw God, but I knew He was there. When I look back on my experience I can see how God had answered my prayers, all the signs He sent, and all the angels He had watching over me.

I do understand why people ask, “Where is God” or “Why aren’t you answering my prayers?” We don’t see God in action because He works behind the scenes. We have to trust He is there, helping to guide us. I want to share something I read recently:

Where is God
A man whispered, “God speak to me” and a meadowlark sang.
But the man did not hear.
So, the man yelled “God, speak to me” and the thunder rolled across the sky.
But the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, God, let me see you” and a star shined brightly.
But the man did not notice.
So, the man shouted “God, show me a miracle” and, a life was born.
But the man did not know.
So, the man cried out in despair, “Touch me God, and let me know you are here.”
Whereupon God reached down and touched the man.
But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

Don’t miss out on a blessing because it isn’t packaged the way that you expect.
~Author Unknown

So next time you ask where God is, look around and you might just find Him.

God gifted us with free will which allows us to make choices. He wants us to follow Him, trust Him, and praise Him, but He also wants us to make the choice to do so. It is that free will that gives us the choice to spread love or evil in this world.

Next time, you feel an urge to help someone, say hi, or spread kindness. Do so, that might be God working through you to make a difference in someone else’s life.